Licensed Counselor New mom Active In a LGBT group.
Tiffany is a licensed clinical mental health counselor and just welcomed son Jaxon to the world, adjusting to life as a working mom with a newborn. Tiffany is active in a local area LGBT group as a volunteer.
How has your life changed since becoming a new mother? What things have you had to let go of and what has been enhanced?
My partner and I were excited to find out we were pregnant after four trials of IUI and one of IVF. That changes your life. Since becoming a mother, I have been able to appreciate the smaller things more. Being able to take a nap, learning to take a quick shower just in case the baby starts crying, cutting back on dairy due to it affecting my son’s stomach and being more aware (my wife calls it being nosy). I have tried to let go of being so independent and allowing my wife Tracy to handle things with Jaxon (a work in progress).
My life has been enhanced by me realizing that I have more love than I thought. Loving Jaxon is a different type of love.
I see you are an advocate for self-care. Why is that important for women? How do you prioritize it in your own life?
As a therapist, I always encourage my patients to practice self-care first. I feel like that part is very important. To know that they are partaking in self-care so that they can take care of others. Especially for women. It is natural for women to be caregivers and they are also expected by the world to be all things to all people. I try to teach that it is OK to be everything to others, but you should be something to yourself first. Simply taking 30 minutes a day for self-care can make a difference.
As an advocate for the LGBTQI+ community, what can you tell others about how to be a better ally?
I believe it is important for those who choose to be allies for the LGBTQI+ community to LISTEN. People may assume that every person in the LGBTQI+ community is the same and requires the same specific type of support, but that is far from the truth. As an effective ally, get to know individuals and their needs for support whether through how they identify (gender identity or the correct pronouns to use), educating yourself about their interests or implementing the most effective way of interacting without judgement.
Tell us about a time in your life that you overcame nonsense in your life?
I unfortunately have experienced discrimination on the job by a patient’s family. It caught me by surprise, not because it was surprising to see people judge, but because there was no warning. I was very upset knowing that someone ignored my professional skills/ability and did not want to work with me due to the color of my skin and having an issue with me being married to a woman. I made the decision to face this issue head on and have a conversation with those individuals. I was proud of how despite the hurt this caused me, I was able to resolve the issue in a professional way, even though a part of me wanted to put my professionalism to the side. They were able to hear me and put their opinion of me aside and allowed me to continue helping their children succeed.
What empowering message do you want to share with all woman?
Knowing your value helps others recognize your worth!